Thursday, January 13, 2011

BEST JOKES (PART 7)

SANTA received an invitation, to a party
which said “Black Tie Only”!!
black-tie.jpg
When he went to the party he was surprised to
find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts As well!!!!
*************************************************************************
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didn’t light.
Match box
He tried another, It didn’t light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man.
Santa replied, “That’s a lucky match stick. I’ll use it again.”

*************************************************************************
Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger coming towards them.
To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down.
man sitting in a tree
Santa told Banta, ” Yaar just to pass Time Why don’t you sing some song”
Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs.
After singing all the songs, Banta came back to his original position.
Santa asked curiosly, “Yaar Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?”
Banta told, ” Yaar First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B”

*************************************************************************
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
Cell phone
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

*************************************************************************
Once three sardars decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
So, the youngest sardar said he would go home and get the soda if the others promised not to eat the sandwiches until he got back.
20839279thm.jpg
An hour, a couple of hours, then all day went by.
Both sardars were now very hungry.
Finally one of the sardars said: “Oh, come on, he is not going to be back. Let’s eat the sandwiches.”
Suddenly, the youngest sardar popped up from behind a rock and said: “If you do, I wont go.”http://www.jokesduniya.com/category/sardar-jokes/page/5/

*************************************************************************

BEST JOKES (PART 6)

Customer:Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
telephone.jpg
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer:
 Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
*************************************************************************
Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!
Teacher
Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI

*************************************************************************
On a romantic date sardar’s girl friend asks him:
“Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?”
engagement
He said: “Sure ! What’s your phone number?”

*************************************************************************
Sardarji photographer focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him.
funeral
Why?
He said: “Smile Please !”

*************************************************************************
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.
The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
Parking sign
“They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Banta Singh.
It said, “Fine For Parking Here.”

*************************************************************************

BEST GOALS-----MESSI

Monday, January 3, 2011

BEST JOKES (PART 5)

Santa to Shopkeeper: – Mujhe India ka flag dikhao.
22212698thm.jpg
Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya,
Santa: – Isme aur colour dikhao
********************************************************************
One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.
Air hostess
After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.
But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.
Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?
Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”
*************************************************************************
A donkeykicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.
Zebra
He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.
*************************************************************************
A bus fell into lake, everyone swimmed across to save their lives.
Swimming
Suddenly Sardar jumps in searches for someone, when asked whom he seaching for.
Sardar said, “Sala conductor ne change nahi diya tha.”


*************************************************************************

Ek tha Raja…
King
Ek thi Rani…
Queen
Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

BEST ILLUSION -----AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

BEST CAR STUNTS

BEST JOKES (PART 4)

One daya dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing.
dog
Banta asked, “Why you are so happy?
He said : “Ah Ah Ah…I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me.”
*************************************************************************
Sardarji :Motor bike se bade jor se aatein hai aur niche gir jate hai.
Public sab aakar uper uthake puchne lagte hai, “sardar ji kaise ho?
Sardar : Arre arre chodo bhai aap logon ki dimag kharab ho gaya hai kya.
bike

YE MERA UTARNE KA STYLE HAI…

*****************************************************************
Sardarji got the fourth child.
He fills data in the birth certificate.
“Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese.”
chinese-b0y.jpg
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”
” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”



******************************************************************
Sardar : (To a friend) Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend : B.A.
boys
Sardar : kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word padhe, aur woh bhi ulte…

******************************************************************
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Mumbai. They managed to get into a double-decker bus.
Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
Double decker bus
After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.